A Family On My Christmas List

by Jessica Lindsey

 Chris has been in foster care for nearly three years. He is very happy with his foster care family and is grateful for all they've done for him. But he's 16 years old and has four little sisters in foster care spread between three houses in the area.

"It's been a lot harder than most people think," said Chris. "The first night you sleep somewhere, you wake up and you think it's just a dream. Then you realize it's not."

During the holiday season, many area families take the extra time to focus on family and even make it a priority to donate time and money to other local families who are struggling in one way or another.

One group of children in need that can often be overlooked or just forgotten about are the hundreds of children in foster care who are awaiting adoption in the Wichita area.

"There are over 300 kids awaiting adoption in Sedgwick County right now," said Shelley Duncan, CEO of Youthville, one of the largest nonprofit, child welfare agencies in Kansas.

In Kansas overall, there are more than 850 children awaiting adoption, according to Youthville statistics.

These children are in the foster care system as a result of abuse, neglect and/or abandonment and are waiting 

for the right people to become their forever family. Youthville is hoping to raise awareness about the number of children in need who are waiting and the agency is prepared to train, teach and support adults who are ready to take the step towards adoption.

Waiting, but not waiting together

One of the things Chris misses most about being together with his siblings is the chance to create memories like the time when the lights went out due to a storm.

"We were all just talking and I started playing random tunes on the guitar then the lights turned back on and everyone was sound asleep," said Chris. "It was the best time I ever had. We realized we were closer than we ever expected."

Chris is protective of his younger sisters—Elicia, Kayla, Tina and Tiffani—and though they admit they argue sometimes and don’t always get along, they all wish they could be adopted together.

Ranging in age from 16 down to 9, the siblings are currently spread between three separate foster care homes.

The average age of a child awaiting adoption in Kansas is eight years old and many of them would love to be adopted alongside biological siblings.

Chris and his siblings have been in foster care for nearly three years and while each of them expressed gratitude for their foster parents, they missed being together as a family.

"The thing I miss most about being together as a whole is we all have fun together no matter what," said Kayla.

Kayla, 13, lives with Chris and loves the foster home she is currently in, is happy in school but misses seeing her other siblings on a daily basis.

Tina, 11, and Tiffani, 9, live together in another foster home and 14-year-old Elicia lives in another home.

"I’m just really hoping to see us get adopted together," said Elicia. "I really don’t want to be separated any longer. It’s been almost three years."

The siblings were excited to get together and spend the day talking and just hanging out over Thanksgiving break.

"The hardest past is that you kind of forget about what’s going on with each other," said Elicia.

Finding forever families

Caring foster families like the ones taking care of Chris, Elicia, Kayla, Tina and Tiffani and all the other children in need are priceless. They’ve opened their homes and made the kids feel safe and they’re providing a stable home while a forever family is found.

"We are raising awareness about the need for families to adopt all of these other children," said Duncan when talking about the dozens of children who did find forever families in the past year. "Most people don’t even have an inkling that we have this need."

Youthville has an entire department that does recruiting for foster care and adoptive parents. Informational classes are held weekly and support staff are available for questions throughout the process.

"Foster care does require a commitment, training courses, licensing standards," said Duncan. "Kids safety is our No. 1 priority."

The adoption process itself is relatively easy, said Duncan. Youthville staff members walk families through each step from training to signing official adoption papers.

To find out information on becoming a foster parent or an adoptive parent, visit http://www.youthville.org or call 1-800- 593-1950 and talk with someone at the agency. For more real stories of foster care and adoption experiences, visit http://www.youthville.org.